Morocco Mike and the holiday howler
It's always the cover-up that gets you in the end, as Michael Matheson and his trusty iPad is about to discover
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There are two types of scandal…
They say there are two sorts of scandals involving the infamous cover-up plot device. Firstly are ones entering history as a metric for those touchstone moments. Often of a sort setting the standard by which events later become judged. These often become synonymous with the time, an inflection point in the culture of a place.
The second represent yardsticks of avoidable farce. These examples are typically a theatres of buffoonery and preventable dishonesty.
One of the more famous examples of the former variety of cover-up scandal would be the Dreyfus affair; which was set in motion on the front page of Georges Clemenceau's liberal Paris daily L'Aurore.
On the morning of Thursday 13 January 1898, Clemenceau’s newspaper published an open letter ‘J'Accuse…!’ written by Émile Zola. It would set the fragile French third Republic alight, exposing profound divisions amid a firestorm of cover-up, anti-Semitism, outrage and demands for justice. In his letter to the President of the republic about the Dreyfus Affair, Zola put his accusation so broadly that he was essentially forcing the chaps in the government to sue him for libel; if they dared.
The Dreyfus affair proved a high-stakes political crisis that threatened the very foundations of the state, as left and right sharply and often violently clashed. Dreyfusards pushed relentlessly for justice, believing a reactionary military’s cover-up threatened the principle of the freedom of the individual itself.
But not all cover-up scandals have implications quite so profound. There are always the clownish variety, the head-scratchers.
One example of the latter category of cover-up scandals which is leaping to mind is the 2003 ‘Badger-gate’ farce.
This bizarre episode unfolded when former cabinet minister Ron Davies was forced to quit politics after being caught attempting to cover-up his late-night picadillo. When The Sun published photos of him leaving a gay sex haunt off the M4 near Bath, he first insisted he hadn’t been in the area for 15 years. But within hours Davies attempted to cover-up by peddling one of the strangest lies in political history claiming "I have actually been there when I have been watching badgers."
And so ended the political career of the architect of Welsh devolution. All because he tried to cover-up what was essentially a private personal matter with an absurd lie about badger watching.
Truly the apex of idiocy amid human frailty, private problems and preventable disgrace. It isn’t an inflection point in history, merely a cover-up due to the private problems faced by a nice enough bloke. Sad, but nevertheless the stuff of avoidable farce.
Fast-forward to our own time and the unfolding plight of the SNP Health Secretary Michael Matheson definitively falls into the latter category of preventable, near farcical ignominy.
Morocco Mike’s holiday howler…
While we aren’t short of examples illustrating the utter contempt in which the current crop of SNP politicians holds the Scottish electorate, rarely are they this laughably preposterous.
Earlier today Mr Matheson made a personal statement, chocking back tears as he realised his cover-up was exposed. Facing the music is never easy, but when you’ve been caught billing taxpayers for £11k then attempting to cover it up, harder still.
As the fat lady was singing time on the cacophony of lies he had been weaving, our Health Secretary confessed the “simple truth” was that his two teenage sons had been using his iPad device as an internet hotspot to “watch football matches”.
Sadly, whether you're covering up because you made an error or to save your kids from scrutiny, it's still a cover up. And the consequences ought to be career terminating.
But how did he find himself in such a muddled - frankly ludicrous - state? For Mr Matheson it really wasn’t the mistake or error of judgement that is bringing him down. If he had just publicly owned up to the fact his teenage kids had used his iPad device as a hot-spot to stream football games, many might have found it within ourselves to let it go (provided he paid it all back). Sure journalists would have pressed as to how his kids could have gained access to the device in the first place without him knowing - but he’d likely have been able to survive the maelstrom.
Hapless bungling dad in Morocco who proved less than tech-savvy with unruly teenage sons would likely have been better than liar and deceiver.
No, it’s that age-old mistake so many people make to avoid personal embarrassment: the cover-up.
Even a lazy perusal of the timeline of events in the iPad-gate cover-up scandal shows the SNP Health Secretary knew from November 9th 2023 that his government business iPad had been used for personal use. Yet, as late as Nov 13th he was repeating the lie that nobody else used his device.
He lied knowing the contrary was true, and surely knowing deep down somewhere he’d likely be caught. It really ought to be a cabinet career ending moment, but then, this is the SNP we’re talking about…
Timeline of a liar:
▶️November 8 2023: Michael Matheson spokesperson insists £11k bill represents "legitimate parliamentary expense"
▶️November 9: Matheson again blames an "outdated sim card". FM says he shouldn't have to repay the money. Matheson's wife tells him there had been personal use by his sons to watch football
▶️November 10: Matheson u-turns and announces he will refund the money from his own pocket
▶️November 12: Matheson is warned he faces police fraud probe if any personal use is discovered by Holyrood's authorities
▶️November 13: tells media that Holyrood IT experts have already checked the iPad. Matheson fails to mention they didn't check the browser history. He repeats his denial of personal use and denies anyone else used the iPad
▶️November 14: Matheson tells FM Humza Yousaf there had indeed been personal use of the device
▶️November 15: FM publicly insists matter is "closed" as Matheson has refunded the "11k
▶️November 16: Matheson in a personal statement to Holyrood confesses that his two teenage sons used the iPad as an internet hotspot to watch football matches. He refuses point blank to resign
As my favourite Scotsman writer (and all round fantastic person) tweeted earlier today…
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You could have commented on labours shameful abdication of duty on a ceasefire in Gaza, but instead you have plumped for the daily mail story.. you don't have to do the MSMs work for them Dean.